Last week she was smiling when we left and crying when we picked her up. They said she cried the last little bit...I don't know how long that is in minutes though.
Tonight she was smiling at everybody we met on the way into the nursery. Then we walked in her room and the three ladies crowded around her and said how cute she was and she poked that bottom lip out and started to cry. I left my cell number and my daughter to go worship with the youth that I love so dearly. When we picked her up she was sleeping in the arms of one of the sweet ladies but they said she had only been asleep about five minutes and that she cried most of the time. This breaks my heart!
All day at home she is a happy smiling baby with a little fussiness when she's sleepy, but mommy can get her to sleep in a matter of minutes. So to know that she cried for almost an hour absolutely kills me!
I love the youth of our church and girls in my Sunday school class and want to worship with them. And I love my precious daughter and don't want her to be upset. I am so torn! My heart tells me to keep my little girl with me for as long as possible. My mind tells me she will not be any worse off if she's a little upset for an hour on Sundays and Wednesdays.
I know I can't keep her with me to comfort her all the time. I know that in less than three weeks I will have to send her to school and then home with the babysitter and I will not be with her every day. I know the people we are going to leave her with are kind, caring, capable people who will quickly fall in love with our sweet Ensley. I know the time will come that she will have to learn that we will always be back for her. I just don't know if now is the time to leave her.
This morning I was excited about going back to Sunday school this coming Sunday for the first time in eleven weeks. (Yes Ensley is eleven weeks old! I can't believe it either!) Now I don't know what I will do. The only thing I am sure of is that I love Ensley Kate Wood more than I thought was humanly possible and I love her more every day.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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