While I'm Waiting

As you already know, I took the law portion of the boards last Friday. The past week has been excruciating for me as I wait to get my results. Usually after I take a test, I can move on with my life and forget about it but this test was different. Before the test I felt like I knew the material but I was really nervous because everyone says it is a tricky test. I felt your prayers as I went in to the testing center...I was very calm and relaxed when I sat down, but about 30 minutes into the test I started freaking out! I would say a little prayer and continue until the next freak out then say another prayer...this pattern continued for the remaining hour of the exam. When I left the testing center I forgot about the whole God is in control thing and I started crying. I felt sure that I failed...I still don't have my results yet but I know I can rest in the assurance that His plan is best whatever the results may be (but as you will read...I didn't pick up on this simple principle quickly). See God is teaching me to trust Him and teaching me patience this week while I wait.

The sweet ladies at the testing center told me that I should know something within the week. I have heard from other recent grads who received their results three days after they took the exam...so Wednesday I began anxiously checking the mail. I was hoping it would be there Wednesday but really didn't expect it...so when it didn't come I wasn't heartbroken. Thursday morning I woke up confident that I would get my results in the mail that day. I went to work at 12:45 after giving EJ strict instructions to check the mail box at least hourly, keep the blinds open so the dogs would bark when the mail truck came around, and to text me immediately with the results. Our mail usually comes around 2:30 so at 3:00 I started calling/texting him every 30 minutes until 5 pm when I realized that the mail wasn't coming Thursday. Sure enough...our mail man did not come down our street on Thursday...why? The only reason I can think of is because God was teaching the resident at the end of the cul-de-sac to trust Him...sorry neighbors. (So Dad, your Father's Day card will come on Monday because our mailman didn't pick it up on Thursday because God is teaching me to trust Him.) Anyway, back to the story... this morning I was still having trouble trusting Him so I called the post office to find out if I should come pick up my mail today (because I knew that my results were in the mail yesterday) and he assured me that my mail would be delivered and that I didn't need to come down there to get it. So today the mail truck came by at 12:30 (remember the mail usually comes at 2:30 and I went to work today at 12:45) so I ran out to the mailbox and thumbed through only to find that there was no letter for me and God had to remind me, yet again, that He is in control. I think after 3 days of worrying and anxiety, I learned.

I am so disappointed in myself for allowing this to consume me this week. Why can't I let my love for Him consume me in the same way...that I would rush to the lost people to tell them the story of Jesus like I rushed to the mailbox. That my compassion for the lost and hurting would compel me to pray for them every 30 minutes like I texted/called EJ every 30 minutes on Thursday.
Father, forgive me for being so selfish this week and thank you for reminding me to worship while I wait and to serve You while I wait. Help me to remember to not be anxious about anything but to pray about everything.

This song was playing on the radio when I got in the car on my lunch break on Thursday after realizing the mail wasn't coming. I know that it is talking about Jesus' return but it rained down conviction on my selfish soul.
While I'm Waiting by John Waller
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve you
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I am waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord