Worth Fighting For

A few months ago I started writing this post and I never finished it. My heart is so heavy for the institute of marriage and I feel God prodding me to finally post this and be completely open and transparent. I have stopped and cried and prayed more times than I can count over the past few months with a heavy heart. I have prayed for my parent’s marriage, my in-laws marriages, my brothers and sisters marriages, my brother who is not yet married, my friends’ marriages and of course my own marriage. The urgency didn’t come from a marriage on the rocks but just God urging me to pray for the people I love.

I was mopping the floors while Ensley was napping and had some music on the satellite. I fell to my knees sobbing while listening to the following lyrics from Warren Barfield. The song is called ‘Love is Not a Fight’ from the album Worth Fighting For.

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It’s a house we enter in
Then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We’ll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight, but it’s something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they’re falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight, but it’s something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us
If we’ll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight, but it’s something worth fighting for

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It’s worth fighting for

Before EJ and I married, one of my best friends moms said to me as a piece of advice…”Marriage takes work.” When she said that I remember thinking to my-naïve-self…not when you are marrying EJ…not when you are marrying your best friend…not us…our relationship has always been easy…why would marriage change that. I remember about six months into our marriage hearing her advice ringing loudly in my ears when we faced our first real scuffle. Since then there have been many times that I thought of those words, not necessarily because our marriage is hard but because marriage was created and given by God and Satan tries to attack it.

I was one of the first of my friends to get married, and I remember as more and more of my friends were getting married I would look at their relationships and think…If only EJ and I….or If only EJ would… I look back and can see that was Satan attacking our marriage. We had a girl’s weekend with my college roommates a few years ago and we all shared that we thought one another had the perfect marriage only to find out that there is no perfect marriage. That opened my eyes to see that I should be looking to Him for what our marriage should/could be not to anyone else’s marriage.
A few years later the same thoughts came back as we joined a new church and I looked at other young couples in the church. I looked at their relationships and thought….why can’t we….why can’t EJ. God gently reminded me of my friends marriages that I had once thought were the model marriages, but I didn’t want to listen. One Sunday morning at church I ran into another young mother who said, “I really want to get together with yall sometime.” I said “we would love that but finding the time is ridiculous with our schedule.” To which she replied,” I know, I feel like my husband puts everything before us, deacons meetings, work, mens softball.” I was floored! I thought not them too? They look like they have the perfect marriage. To which God could have said, I told you so! But He didn’t. My prayer is that I will continue looking to Him and His perfect model of a perfect marriage.

My married readers, I am praying for you today!

Bye-Bye Good Boy

EJ took Duke to the farm this afternoon. When we realized what needed to happen this morning I cried. I didn't think I would cry when it was time to tell Duke goodbye but I did. I was sitting on the floor and Kala crawled up in my lap because she knew something was wrong. Life will be different without Duke-Duke. He could be a little grumpy at times but he was a good ole dog! We will miss little Duke-Duke! Bye-bye good boy!

Patiently Waiting on What

Do you ever feel like God is preparing you for something but you don't know what?
Our Sunday School lessons this month have been on patience which is a lesson I desperately need. This past week God reminded me of a situation two years ago while I was waiting on my license (see blog post from June 2009). At that time the John Waller song While I'm Waiting was a huge encouragement to me. I used that song this past week in my lesson and it was as if God was calming my heart while it played when I didn't even know my heart was restless.
Tuesday morning my devotion encouraged me to worship not worry. Don't spend time worrying about what is going wrong or what could go wrong when you can be praising Him for having it under control and thanking Him for His blessings. Again as I read the scriptures and a story abut Ruth Graham Bell it was as if God was calming my heart. I haven't felt like anything in particular was worrying me or like I am waiting for anything but I am sure he is preparing me for something.
Isn't it awesome to know that when we have no idea what is going on we can know He is in control?
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Watching the Big Girls

Ensley watched two of her cousins (18 and 20 months old) walk around all weekend at our family reunion and I suppose it motivated her to walk. When we got home from the weekend she immediately crawled over to her push-walker and took off. This was the first time she had done that and she did it like a pro! EJ was with her all day yesterday and he sent me a couple of videos of her walking all over the bonus room pushing that little car around (the files were to big to send to computer from his phone or I would post one). It is only a matter of days before she lets go of the help and takes off on her own.

Thanks Hadley and Sara Frances for the motivation to get moving! :'( She is growing up too fast!

Here is a picture of her with her walker outside today...note the big smile on her face! She knows she is a big girl!

Family Time

We spent four days in the Gatlinburg area doing absolutely nothing. We took Ensley to the waterpark and floated the lazy river a couple of times and she loved it. We didn't have any plans and enjoyed just spending time together outside the organized chaos of everyday life. One day when Ensley woke up from her nap we played in our bed with her for at least an hour and had so much fun with her giggling and playing. It was such sweet time that we needed as a family.
Then we drove over to Pigeon Forge where we had a large group cabin for four nights for the annual Richardson Reunion. All of my mom's family gets together every year over July 4th. Most of the time is spent just sitting around catching up with everyone and reminiscing with one another telling tales on each other and Daddy Bob, but we usually venture out on a couple of excursions too. Saturday a large group of us went tubing and Sunday we all had a worship service in the cabin then most of us went on a hike to Grotto Falls.
I am so thankful for the blessing of my family and their love for people and love for God. This weekend is always a refreshing time with family and God and I'm already looking forward to next year.
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More Teethies!

Ensley has her first top tooth! She has three more top teeth making thir way through but for now she has two middle bottom teeth and top left incisor. If her right incisor comes in next she will have little fangs til her top middle teeth come in. Teehee!
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Update on Ensley

Ensley is changing so much so fast so here is a quick recap.

Communication

Last Tuesday when I picked her up from daycare she was asleep so I rubbed her back gently to wake her up. When she opened her eyes she popped up and said "Momma". That was the first time I really thought she might have said a word on purpose. That afternoon I was putting clothes away in our bedroom and she crawled in to the room, looked up at me, and said "Momma" again. Then today, EJ brought her to work to visit me and one of the technicians said "Did you come to visit Mommy?" and she turned and looked at me and said "Momma". So "Momma" is going down as her first word.

We think she is saying Kala too, but it comes out more like "NyaNya". We think this is her version of Kala because she says it when Kala comes into the room and repeats it after us.

I haven't heard her say "Daddy" yet, but mainly because when he comes in the room she just squeals in delight.

She is also starting to shake her head. This is not something that we have done with her a lot so I think she has picked it up at daycare or the nursery. Most of the time she does it at appropriate times too. For example, yesterday she crawled over to the back door and when she reached for the blinds I said in a stern voice, "Ensley" and she turned to me and shook her head. I said, "That's right. That's not a toy. Come play with your toys." and she did...coincidence? I'm beginning to think not. Also, yesterday we were playing upstairs and I thought she was handing me a block so I reached out to take it and she put her death grip on it and shook her head. Who knows what she is thinking and if she really knows what she is doing?

When someone says "Bye" she will usually wave without much prodding, but "Hi" takes a little more encouragement. She also waves just to let you know she is still here and wants to make sure you don't forget it...and it is really cute.

Eating

She loves feeding herself and she is willing to share her snacks with you but it is usually after she has slobbered all over them. She puts her hand out with a snack in it and sometimes I'll take it and say "thank you" and sometimes I'll say "You can eat it" and she doesn't make you say it twice...she'll eat it up in a hurry if you offer it back to her.

Playing

When she hears music she bounces. Sometimes she requires a prompting but a lot of times she just starts bouncing. She likes music and especially nursery rhyme songs.

She has been banging two blocks together for weeks but wouldn't clap empty hands together until this past week. It is so cute! When she does anything that she thinks is praiseworthy she claps or if we say "YAY!" she will usually clap in response. And she gets so excited and crinkles her little nose...oh my goodness! Can you tell how much I love her?!

Her daycare told me where I could find her favorite ball, so we went on an adventure to find this ball. When I found it I bought a backup in case we misplace this one. She is too funny with the ball. She army crawls with it so she doesn't have to put it down. It is a good accessory for her...it really brings out her eyes, don't you think?

We are trying to get some video of her doing all of these cute things but usually by the time we get the camera out she is done. And I know that all kids are the cutest and do the cutest things so don't bust my bubble and just humor me in my thinking that she is THE cutest and best...but she really is :)